The Ironing Board Game

When I was a little girl we lived in an apartment. It was maybe three stories and I was little so I don’t remember a whole lot. I remember snake sitting for a neighbor and feeding it live mice. I remember we had a fish tank. And I definitely remember the birthday party where we played a game with a blindfold.

I must have been what, five or six? I would have been in maybe first or second grade. We had back porch patios that led to the fire escape. This is a key point. Like a long porch with a washing machine at one end and a wooden railing with plywood going halfway up. Stairs at one end. And a two by four upright splitting the opening above the railing. Classic east coast style.

This party was for a neighbor kid, I don’t remember their name. I don’t think we were close but our parents were friends. We were at their place for cake and presents and they had party games.

Each kid went in turn, and you were sworn to secrecy after you had gone. They took you into the kitchen which was the room off the porch. There was an ironing board lying across the kitchen table. They fit you with a bandanna for a blindfold and lay you down on the board. Arms by your sides! This was important, and no wiggling!

Lying there blindfolded you had your sense of hearing to rely on. They began to narrate, we are taking you here, we are going there. You felt as if you were in motion, moving through space as they told their story and tilted the board, swinging it to signify forward momentum throughout the house.

At one point they said they were on the porch and had to dangle you over the parking lot behind the upright support. There was a narrative explanation for this which I cannot recall, but the gist of it was to avoid something in the way.

I was terrified of heights and utterly engrossed in their tale. To me it was so real, the whole thing believable and terrifying and bizarre. The little board shook and tipped as it was handed off to make the crossing in midair.

Then in the story we returned to the kitchen and landed back on the kitchen table. The blindfold was removed and then after some banter it was revealed that you had really been in the kitchen the whole time. Much hilarity did ensue and on to the next kid after swearing me to secrecy to keep the fun going for everyone.

Does anyone else remember this game? I haven’t heard anyone talk about it. What a strange thing to do and where did it come from? I have so many questions!

I remember this so vividly. How scared I was to be up so high, to be that exposed. How they pretended to almost drop you. It was all so real for me. But none of it ever happened. It was only a story, a reasonable explanation for the simulated sensory input provided that seemed plausible enough to create very visceral reactions to imagined peril.

If any other GenX elders experienced this kind of party game as a kid I’d love to hear about that. What happened for you and how did that make you feel? I am not sure how I feel. It seems nuts to do that with someone else’s kid but it was different times. If it’s all in your head does it still count?

I’m not someone who enjoys scary movies. So I don’t really get the appeal but I know lots of people do enjoy being scared recreationally. I guess I figure life is scary enough without making it worse on purpose. I get all tense and spend the whole two hours clenching everything so it’s just not fun for me. But to each their own. At any rate there you go. Ironing boards, ammirite? Scary!