Disintegration

My heart is breaking

Its electrical impulses

Irregular

Arhythmic

Maybe it’s the toxins in my teeth

Circulating in my system

After the dentist

Cleaned up my mess again

Maybe it’s fear

The feeling that I can’t

Handle it

Find a way

Keep going

And knowing I’m trapped here

Or maybe it’s just

Heartbreak

The crushing weight of loneliness

Threatening to stop the beat

Out of spite

Abandonment, rejection, the invisibility of older women

Maybe I’m starting to disappear even to myself

One missed beat at a time